Whether you opted for a public Facebook recommendation, received a word-of-mouth referral from a trusted friend, or you clicked through one of the many online counselling directories, one common theme remains: choosing the right counsellor is an important decision to make. If you are curious to learn more how counselling can transform your relationships, welcome! You are KnotAlone.
So, what is the first session about?
Relationship. Counselling = Relationship: Your relationship to self, to your partner, to your family, and to the world around you. The first time we meet, our agenda is simple: we learn about each other and build a relationship. I want to ensure I am the best person to accompany your journey and you need to make sure I am well fit to your needs. I invite any questions you may have and I offer a gentle lead by asking questions like:
How did you and your partner(s) meet? What did it feel like in those early days?
Have you had any relationships that included satisfying sex? What made them satisfactory?
At what age did you first learn about sex and sexuality? What did you learn?
How do you think your sexuality has been influenced by ideas that you have read about or learned in the media?
Does your workplace support work/life balance? How does this affect your sexual expression?
If you have a spiritual life, how does it or does it not support your understanding of your sexuality?
Hitting close to home?
Sex, intimacy, relationships - these are all charged topics. Feeling some discomfort around the idea of meeting? Butterflies in your stomach? Like a first date, sexuality and relationship counselling can bring about some healthy nervousness that is normal and shared. You are choosing counselling to work on something important and there is a lot on the line. My role is to welcome these core areas with curiosity and ease.
What happens next?
As Ether Perel famously coined, “we all arrive with a story”. You have learned to cope and adapt to an incredible range of life events thanks to your culture, upbringing, and drive. There is no question that by showing up for counselling you are both courageous and resilient. In the room, we collaborate as writer and editor, exploring the story and inviting in opportunities to expand, rewrite, and delete as we go. Some individuals arrive with clarity - red ink firmly etched on the pad; others, overwhelmed - faint lines marked uncertainly on the page. I offer, with genuine intention, the opportunity for a fresh perspective. The pace we read is yours to set.